S4, E1: This Is My Sorry For 2024 (SEASON PREMIERE)

[00:00:00] Coming at you harder than the feds with Diddy, it's the John Cash Show Podcast.

[00:00:31] Hey, yo, the evening or early in the morning.

[00:00:33] Yo, listen to the John Cash.

[00:00:37] Let's go, New York!

[00:00:39] John Cash.

[00:00:43] Yo, listen to the John Cash.

[00:00:47] Welcome to the season four premiere of the John Cash Show Podcast.

[00:00:53] Oh, how I have missed saying that.

[00:00:57] And I also miss saying this.

[00:00:59] The views and opinions expressed by myself do not reflect those of the John Cash Show Podcast

[00:01:07] sponsors and or affiliates, listeners, and viewers' discussion is highly, highly advised.

[00:01:15] And you can hear the John Cash Show Podcast on demand on your favorite streaming platforms

[00:01:22] including but not limited to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Stitcher, Diesel,

[00:01:29] Odyssey, Pandora, and many, many more platforms except for Tidal.

[00:01:35] Now, let's kick it off with the engineer extraordinaire of the John Cash Show Podcast.

[00:01:42] It's been years since I've heard this.

[00:01:43] Yes.

[00:01:44] Yes.

[00:01:44] The man with the iron jaw and not the iron claw.

[00:01:49] The pussy eating demon with vanilla flavored semen.

[00:01:55] The pussy whisperer.

[00:01:58] Josh!

[00:01:59] Josh!

[00:02:01] Wow.

[00:02:02] We still doing that, huh?

[00:02:03] We still doing that.

[00:02:05] Four years removed.

[00:02:05] You ain't gonna let that go.

[00:02:07] Cause you're the reason why my arm was hurt for about a week.

[00:02:10] Take the vaccine!

[00:02:12] Take the vaccine!

[00:02:13] Take the vaccine!

[00:02:14] How we doing, John?

[00:02:15] How are you?

[00:02:16] I'm great, man.

[00:02:17] I'm really...

[00:02:18] Me too.

[00:02:19] And I'm really excited that you're back, man.

[00:02:21] I really, really am.

[00:02:22] Yes.

[00:02:23] I'm glad to be back.

[00:02:25] A little nervous.

[00:02:26] I got the butterflies the size of pterodactyls flying through my stomach right now.

[00:02:31] So, yeah.

[00:02:32] How have you been since we last spoke?

[00:02:35] I've been great.

[00:02:36] I mean, to be honest with you, obviously a lot has happened since...

[00:02:40] The world has changed a lot since we last had you in studio.

[00:02:44] But, you know, studio's been good.

[00:02:46] I've been busy doing some educational courses.

[00:02:49] Things have been really, really good.

[00:02:51] I mean, obviously running a business is hard and I wouldn't suggest anybody to do it.

[00:02:57] Because...

[00:02:58] Wait a minute, what?

[00:03:00] Wait a minute.

[00:03:01] Wait a minute.

[00:03:02] I can't hashtag LLC Twitter on there.

[00:03:04] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:03:06] Everybody's on this entrepreneur wave.

[00:03:07] And let me just tell you something.

[00:03:09] Sometimes the best parts of my day are just mopping the floor.

[00:03:12] But...

[00:03:13] Okay.

[00:03:13] Yeah.

[00:03:14] No, no.

[00:03:14] But like...

[00:03:16] It's a weird thing.

[00:03:17] It's like you in podcasting.

[00:03:18] Like, it's difficult.

[00:03:19] It's hard.

[00:03:19] You get mad at people.

[00:03:21] You get rid of a few hosts, but...

[00:03:22] Wait a minute.

[00:03:23] Wait a minute.

[00:03:23] Wait a minute.

[00:03:26] I didn't get rid of...

[00:03:27] I didn't get...

[00:03:28] They got rid of themselves.

[00:03:29] Yeah.

[00:03:30] Okay.

[00:03:31] All right.

[00:03:33] They got rid of themselves.

[00:03:35] They got rid of themselves.

[00:03:35] They got rid of themselves.

[00:03:36] Mm-hmm.

[00:03:38] But uh...

[00:03:38] Shade already.

[00:03:39] Yeah.

[00:03:39] But you just keep coming back because you love it, so...

[00:03:41] Yeah.

[00:03:42] So that's what's been going on with me.

[00:03:45] Okay.

[00:03:45] So...

[00:03:47] Of course, I'm about to get into what's been going on over the past two years.

[00:03:53] Yeah.

[00:03:54] Yeah.

[00:03:54] A two year recap.

[00:03:55] Yeah.

[00:03:57] I feel like...

[00:03:58] Who's the...

[00:04:01] The guy who does the wrap up at the end of the year?

[00:04:04] The name is escaping me.

[00:04:04] Uncle Murda.

[00:04:05] Uncle Murda.

[00:04:06] Yeah.

[00:04:07] Yeah.

[00:04:08] The podcast version.

[00:04:09] Yeah.

[00:04:09] Niggas died every day, B.

[00:04:10] You'll be all right.

[00:04:12] So, you can catch me on IG at the John Cash Show.

[00:04:17] Um...

[00:04:17] Facebook, John Cash.

[00:04:20] TikTok at the John Cash Show Podcast.

[00:04:23] And Facebook...

[00:04:24] I mean, Twitter, sorry.

[00:04:25] Or X.

[00:04:26] X.

[00:04:27] Right?

[00:04:28] Whatever.

[00:04:28] If you're over the age of 35, it's Twitter.

[00:04:31] No.

[00:04:31] A lot has changed since, you know, 2022.

[00:04:34] Even the quality of the Twitter porn.

[00:04:36] Tragic.

[00:04:36] Uh...

[00:04:38] You can catch me at underscore John Cash.

[00:04:41] Now, for everybody listening, feel free to chat about any of the topics that you hear

[00:04:47] or see here and ask for advice.

[00:04:49] Or you can even send an email, feedback, praise, whatever, at the John Cash Show at gmail.com.

[00:04:57] Let's get into the show.

[00:04:59] Ladies and gentlemen in non-binary.

[00:05:02] I think I covered everybody?

[00:05:03] Yeah.

[00:05:03] That's about everybody.

[00:05:04] Make sure I didn't offend anybody.

[00:05:05] Yeah.

[00:05:06] Well, they're gonna get offended soon.

[00:05:07] Soon enough.

[00:05:09] Yeah.

[00:05:09] Just gotta ease them in.

[00:05:11] This is the lube.

[00:05:12] You play nice first.

[00:05:13] It's the lube.

[00:05:14] It's foreplay.

[00:05:15] I mean...

[00:05:17] Not the...

[00:05:18] Baby oil and the lube.

[00:05:21] But...

[00:05:22] Something.

[00:05:24] So let me first say...

[00:05:27] I'm back.

[00:05:29] I apologize for taking so long to come back on the air.

[00:05:34] It was not my intention to be off the air for so long.

[00:05:38] What was meant to be a two-month break turned into a two-year hiatus.

[00:05:43] And I'm sorry.

[00:05:44] I'm so, so sorry for leaving you with less than entertaining shows to listen to outside of this show.

[00:05:52] So, um...

[00:05:52] I was, uh...

[00:05:55] You know, uh...

[00:05:56] Going through a lot of stuff.

[00:05:57] And it was truly unexpected, uh...

[00:05:59] To be in between seasons so long.

[00:06:01] And a lot of things, uh...

[00:06:03] Went down.

[00:06:04] And I just wanted to take this time to apologize and share you on the updates, uh...

[00:06:09] In my life.

[00:06:10] So...

[00:06:12] First, I...

[00:06:13] I don't think I ever took the time to address some of the cast changes that occurred during season three.

[00:06:20] Uh...

[00:06:21] Did I?

[00:06:21] I don't even recall.

[00:06:22] I mean, I don't think you...

[00:06:23] I don't think you did.

[00:06:23] Yeah, I had bigger fish to fry.

[00:06:26] Um...

[00:06:26] But I am the type of nigger to spin the block.

[00:06:29] And, uh...

[00:06:30] You know...

[00:06:30] Yeah.

[00:06:31] Get the last word.

[00:06:33] Mm-hmm.

[00:06:33] So, um...

[00:06:35] At the top of season three, uh...

[00:06:38] The John Cash Show podcast consisted of my good sis, the feminine divine goddess, with the woppiest wop in all the land, the Brownsville bully star, and, um...

[00:06:49] Um...

[00:06:50] Random thoughts, along with myself.

[00:06:53] Some of you may have remembered the...

[00:06:56] Some of you may remember, sorry, the...

[00:06:58] The episode entitled Button Down the Hatches.

[00:07:02] Um...

[00:07:02] In that episode, we talked about, uh...

[00:07:04] Joe Budden, mentioning that he was bi.

[00:07:07] Now, whether he was trolling or trying to do a soft launch of coming out the closet, I don't know.

[00:07:14] But...

[00:07:14] We talked about that.

[00:07:17] Um...

[00:07:18] Now, behind the scenes, Brandon, uh...

[00:07:22] Was adamant about sharing his history.

[00:07:25] About his interactions with Joe Budden.

[00:07:29] Now, the fact that, uh...

[00:07:31] You know, I had...

[00:07:35] Brandon on the show.

[00:07:37] Uh...

[00:07:39] I looked at him as a brother.

[00:07:41] As a friend.

[00:07:42] And I didn't want him to be uncomfortable regarding sharing that, because that's a personal situation.

[00:07:50] And we had quite a few conversations, star him and I, uh...

[00:07:56] Whether he wanted to share the story.

[00:07:59] We also, uh...

[00:08:02] Had a conversation before beginning that, that taping.

[00:08:07] Whether he wanted to share that story.

[00:08:09] And he was very adamant about sharing that story.

[00:08:13] Now, behind the scenes, Brandon used to work at Hot 97.

[00:08:21] So, he was there at the time that Joe Budden was there.

[00:08:24] Allegedly.

[00:08:25] I don't know.

[00:08:26] I'm not in charge of ADP.

[00:08:28] I'm not in charge of payroll.

[00:08:29] I don't know who was there, who was not there.

[00:08:32] I wasn't there.

[00:08:33] Okay?

[00:08:35] Um...

[00:08:37] So...

[00:08:37] Breaking the fourth wall, we record anywhere from like four to six episodes every time that we tape.

[00:08:45] Uh...

[00:08:45] Most of the times that we tape.

[00:08:47] Uh...

[00:08:47] I normally schedule a four hour block and we crank out a lot of content because we want to make sure that you get your, you know, your listening's worth.

[00:08:59] And...

[00:09:00] How am I going to say this?

[00:09:03] All the episodes, we pretty much just do in one take.

[00:09:07] Mm-hmm.

[00:09:08] No editing.

[00:09:09] The only thing that Josh has to do is plug the intro, plug the outro.

[00:09:14] And for those of you who produce content, you know how hard that shit is.

[00:09:19] I don't think I've ever called for anything to be edited out.

[00:09:22] Never.

[00:09:23] You're getting the raw conversation.

[00:09:24] Yeah, you're getting the absolute raw conversation, raw production.

[00:09:29] Well, not raw production, but the actual one take, that's it.

[00:09:34] Is no, okay, let's rewind that, let's play that back, let's start from there.

[00:09:40] Nothing like that.

[00:09:41] And with that being said, some things can be said that could get me in trouble.

[00:09:48] I do enough of that my own self.

[00:09:50] Sure do.

[00:09:50] I don't...

[00:09:52] Sure do.

[00:09:53] I don't need to put my team at any risk.

[00:09:58] So, with that episode, I forwarded the episode to my entertainment lawyer.

[00:10:06] Shout out to him.

[00:10:07] And he works with Netflix, Warner Brothers Discovery, and a lot of other big name entertainment entities.

[00:10:17] So, I had to pay over $1,500 just for him to listen to the episode to make sure that we could not get sued.

[00:10:31] For, you know, for what Brandon was willing to disclose.

[00:10:39] Now, I guess he had some sort of remorse or some cold feet after the fact, and he started moving funny.

[00:10:48] Uh, I don't know why he...

[00:10:51] I didn't at the time know why he moved funny, and honestly to this day, I didn't know why he moved funny.

[00:10:56] He never shared it with me.

[00:10:58] Um, he started to be evasive with Star and I.

[00:11:03] And mostly I, because Star and him weren't friends.

[00:11:07] They were just mutual connections from me.

[00:11:11] Um, I was more...

[00:11:12] I'm more Star's friend and more Brandon's friend than we were a friend group.

[00:11:19] Um, and...

[00:11:22] How can I say this?

[00:11:24] We had a conversation, and...

[00:11:28] You know, about how he was moving.

[00:11:31] And I thought everything was okay.

[00:11:33] Uh, I took him to Survivor Series back in 2021, because his birthday is in December.

[00:11:39] And he's a big wrestling fan, and I'm a wrestling fan as well.

[00:11:43] Uh, we went together, uh, back at the Barclays.

[00:11:47] So, that was his birthday present.

[00:11:50] And we had another conversation around his birthday, and he expressed that he was tired, uh, with things that was going on in his life.

[00:11:58] And he just didn't feel like himself.

[00:12:00] So, me trying to be supportive...

[00:12:03] Which you are.

[00:12:04] Yeah.

[00:12:05] You very much are.

[00:12:06] I...

[00:12:07] To hear it from some people, child, I ain't shit.

[00:12:10] But, I told him, take the next two tapings off.

[00:12:16] The reason why I told him the next two tapings was because the next taping, the taping after that, um, was the, uh, the year recap and the, uh, year predictions with Kim Allen.

[00:12:29] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:30] And then the, the other one was, uh, you know, that was, those two tapings led to the 100th episode taping.

[00:12:40] Yeah.

[00:12:40] I wanted him to be a part of the 100th episode taping.

[00:12:43] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:43] I extended, I extended that offer to him.

[00:12:46] And by the way, just, I remember parts of this too.

[00:12:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:12:48] And I was just gonna, just for the audience to sort of fill in a little bit too, a little bit more context.

[00:12:53] Like, the, what's it called?

[00:12:55] Like, because we do so many recordings at once, like, if the energy is not right in the room, like, it messes with all of the recordings for that day.

[00:13:05] So it's not like the, it's not like the potential of it just, like, potentially making one episode feel off.

[00:13:11] It can make an entire month or week's worth of episodes feel off.

[00:13:15] Exactly.

[00:13:16] And like I said, we crank out anywhere from four to six episodes.

[00:13:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:13:21] Um, so I wanted him to get in his, his element, get in his space, give him his time.

[00:13:28] Cause around that time he did have a death in his family.

[00:13:31] And, you know, I did respect that and honor that as a friend first.

[00:13:36] Um, so yeah.

[00:13:38] So I wanted him to come back to the show.

[00:13:41] Uh, but he felt like I didn't want him to come back to the show, but you know, I always say the show must go on.

[00:13:47] Uh, I tried to be accommodating.

[00:13:49] I tried to be understanding.

[00:13:52] I was understanding.

[00:13:53] Uh, I was supportive and he just, you know, for whatever reason, that's on him.

[00:14:00] God bless.

[00:14:01] Uh, you know, whatever.

[00:14:04] So fast forward a few weeks later and, uh, he's on the phone with me talking real reckless.

[00:14:15] And he's like, uh, pretty much fuck me.

[00:14:18] I'm trying to replace him because I had like somebody else.

[00:14:23] I had Mel come in.

[00:14:25] Yeah.

[00:14:25] And, um, my personal trainer at the time who was trying to launch his OnlyFans.

[00:14:31] So I was introduced and he wanted me to be his manager.

[00:14:34] I was launching him.

[00:14:36] I was doing a soft launch for him for my crowd, my audience.

[00:14:39] So that way, when I start promoting the project, it'd be familiar.

[00:14:48] Um, he saw the episode, he's going off talking about him trying to replace him and this, that and the third.

[00:14:55] And I'm like, what?

[00:14:57] Like, I'm not trying to replace you.

[00:14:58] Yeah.

[00:14:59] Like they, you like, uh, like they neither Mel nor your trainer, like have the same, they don't bring the same thing to the table that he did at all, which is weird.

[00:15:07] Yeah.

[00:15:07] Yeah.

[00:15:07] So, I mean, at the end of the day, I was like, you know what?

[00:15:11] This is reminding me of DTF.

[00:15:13] Um, when we had our, uh, uh, falling out, so to speak.

[00:15:18] And, um, I was like, yeah, no, this is not, this is not working.

[00:15:23] This is, and, um, meanwhile, all of this is happening with the show.

[00:15:29] And my cousin, who's like my brother, got locked up around that time and, uh, around Thanksgiving of that year.

[00:15:38] And I had to put over $6,500 towards his bail and also borrow another $7,500 plus from my 403B for the retaining of his lawyer.

[00:15:57] So, like I said, cause it was a lot going on at that time.

[00:16:04] And I'm still, I'm still going, I'm still going, I'm still coming.

[00:16:08] I'm still creating these shows.

[00:16:10] I'm still, uh, uh, uh, trying to get the content, trying to make sure I'm on top of, uh, current events and pop culture, hosting and all this other stuff.

[00:16:22] Now, after my cousin gets out of, uh, gets off of Rikers, he starts abusing alcohol.

[00:16:29] Uh, I don't think I mentioned that, uh, because of the time he was facing, the severe time that he was facing.

[00:16:36] And he started doing some wild shit. Like he'll be leaving out the house, leaving the door open, uh, going in his underwear up and down the block.

[00:16:47] I gotta, you know, they call me from Brooklyn to go to the Bronx. I gotta go.

[00:16:52] Of course, if you live in the New York City area, you know, you can't really, if it's an emergency, you can't really take public transportation.

[00:16:59] You gotta take an Uber or Lyft. So here we talking about another 50, 60, $70.

[00:17:05] And you'll be-

[00:17:06] Twice a week.

[00:17:06] And you'll be lucky to get there in time anyway. Like-

[00:17:09] Twice a week. So now we adding on to that.

[00:17:13] On top of what I've already paid out. On top of bills. And on top of, like, all the, the, the production and all this other stuff.

[00:17:21] Now, shit costs money. And when you're going through all of this and money, money, money, money's coming, going out, going out, going out.

[00:17:32] And it's like, damn, will this shit ever stop? And it doesn't stop, but you still keep going, keep going, keep going.

[00:17:39] Don't give yourself grace. You don't give yourself, um, it's like, it's okay.

[00:17:45] It's okay. It's okay. If you don't make it this month to record, uh, uh, you know, your episodes.

[00:17:54] So, let's swing back to the show.

[00:17:57] So, while all these headaches are going, like, all these problems are starting to pop up, pop up, I had to decide.

[00:18:05] I made the hard decision. Brandon just was not worth the headache at the time.

[00:18:09] And it was just like, he's got to go. Got to move forward.

[00:18:16] Now, let's swing over this way. And I'm going to loop it all in.

[00:18:21] Trust me, ladies and gentlemen, if you understand me, you understand I'm going somewhere with this.

[00:18:29] So, swing back to personal life.

[00:18:32] Met someone off a hinge back in 2022 at the top of 2022.

[00:18:36] Things are going, uh, pretty good. Pretty great.

[00:18:41] To the point, people that know me know I don't spend the night out.

[00:18:48] I don't spend the night out. I don't, I, I fuck and I leave.

[00:18:52] I fuck, I get up and I leave. Like, I don't even, I shower at home.

[00:18:57] I'll take an Uber or take the train, whatever.

[00:19:01] Hmm.

[00:19:03] It's basking in the after.

[00:19:05] Yeah. You don't need to be, you don't need to stick around.

[00:19:10] So, I'm talking about, you know, I'm being respectful.

[00:19:14] I'm not, not being too forward, too, too aggressive.

[00:19:20] It was six dates before we had the first kiss.

[00:19:24] I'm, I'm being like very intentional, you know.

[00:19:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:19:29] We are praying and meditating.

[00:19:31] So, you was in love?

[00:19:32] Eh.

[00:19:34] We were praying and meditating.

[00:19:36] We were praying and meditating.

[00:19:39] Like, naked.

[00:19:40] Like, like, we was watching Albert Elementary on the couch.

[00:19:45] Wow, that's some crazy foreplay.

[00:19:47] I don't know.

[00:19:50] That's some crazy foreplay.

[00:19:52] No, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:19:54] We were eating the, the, the, the Borea tacos with the, the motor oil.

[00:20:00] Like, just dipping it in there.

[00:20:02] We were having a grand old time.

[00:20:05] Or so I thought.

[00:20:08] Because late March, it comes crashing down and, and like abruptly.

[00:20:13] And it wasn't like a, it wasn't like any problems were evident or was subtle.

[00:20:21] It was just right then and there, right after we left the Museum of Sex.

[00:20:26] And, and just, uh, I'm trying to think of the, the, the, uh, the exact, uh, words.

[00:20:34] Uh, pretty much it's not you, it's me.

[00:20:38] But for, for once in my life, I actually believed the other person.

[00:20:42] Okay.

[00:20:43] And I, I honestly felt that.

[00:20:46] So, um, that person was like, oh, let's be friends.

[00:20:55] And I'm like, what?

[00:20:57] Like, like.

[00:20:58] You're, I already know that, that you're not that person.

[00:21:01] I'm not, I'm not.

[00:21:02] You're not that person.

[00:21:03] I'm not, I'm not that, like, we fucked.

[00:21:06] It's like, we let's be friends.

[00:21:07] Okay.

[00:21:08] Let's be friends now.

[00:21:09] And let's not fuck.

[00:21:10] What?

[00:21:11] Like, like, like, like, I digress.

[00:21:18] So me trying this new course of like, oh, let's be friends.

[00:21:23] Let's be friends.

[00:21:25] Like, with no interaction, no sexual interaction.

[00:21:28] It was difficult for me.

[00:21:31] So let's fast forward to the week after the breakup.

[00:21:35] And it was in public too.

[00:21:37] It was in Union Square.

[00:21:39] Oh, wow.

[00:21:40] Yeah.

[00:21:41] Let's fast forward a week later.

[00:21:43] I'm out to brunch with my sister, Catherine.

[00:21:45] Shout out to Cats Collections and Licious Island Vibes.

[00:21:50] I get a phone call from my mother.

[00:21:53] She fell in the street and broke her hip.

[00:21:55] Hmm.

[00:21:56] I remember, I remember you telling me about this.

[00:21:58] I had to be, I had to, uh, well, I was, happened to be on vacation from work that time.

[00:22:04] So, now, before I went on vacation, we worked mostly remote.

[00:22:11] I called my supervisor to let her know what happened.

[00:22:15] Cause she's very supportive.

[00:22:16] Shout out to Ty.

[00:22:17] I love her.

[00:22:18] I call her every week.

[00:22:19] Do check-ins, even though I no longer work there.

[00:22:21] We actually go out to have lunch and brunch a couple times.

[00:22:25] Um, you know, uh, a quarter.

[00:22:28] And at that time, she had to inform me.

[00:22:34] So that way I was prepared that we were going from, we were changing from fully remote to

[00:22:39] being completely on site five days a week.

[00:22:42] Oof.

[00:22:43] So now it's like, fuck, I don't have any time.

[00:22:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:22:49] And my schedule at the time was 8.30 to 5.

[00:22:53] Now I have to shift it from, uh, from 8.30 to 5 to 7 to 3.30.

[00:22:58] So that way I could get back to Brooklyn in time before visiting hours are done.

[00:23:04] Plus I got to fill out the FMLA paperwork.

[00:23:08] That's another thing.

[00:23:09] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:10] So, while all of this is going on, now I have to wake up at three o'clock in the morning.

[00:23:21] To leave out of my house by 4.45 to get up to the Bronx by 7.

[00:23:28] And you know the trains run stupid at that time.

[00:23:30] Oh, yeah.

[00:23:31] So you gotta leave a little bit earlier to give yourself some time.

[00:23:33] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:23:34] And a lot of times I wind up taking an Uber.

[00:23:36] So that's another thing.

[00:23:38] More money.

[00:23:39] What?

[00:23:41] So all of this is going on.

[00:23:43] Plus, I have to go to the hospital every single solitary day just so they could,

[00:23:48] because when they see you, when they see the person has somebody, they're going to more likely treat them better.

[00:23:56] So now I have that pressure.

[00:23:59] Oh, by the way, I forget.

[00:24:02] As I get home from coming from the hospital when my mother first got there, I get a phone call.

[00:24:09] My cousin's bail has been remanded.

[00:24:12] And he has a court date on April 19th, and that's when he's expected of 2022.

[00:24:18] And that's when he is expected to be taken into custody.

[00:24:25] And I'm like, what the fuck did I pay the bail money for?

[00:24:30] But since it was the OK Corral out here, Eric Adams said that anybody that has a gun charge, they had to be automatically remanded.

[00:24:42] Yep.

[00:24:46] Yeah.

[00:24:47] So my mother transfers to the nursing home like the latter end of April.

[00:24:53] I get a phone call one Sunday, I want to say April 30th or May 1st, from my aunt, J.R., which is my cousin.

[00:25:06] J.R. was found unresponsive and they had to transport him to Elmhurst Hospital.

[00:25:16] And it was so bad that the commissioner of the Department of Corrections came to visit my aunt.

[00:25:25] He was in that bad of a condition.

[00:25:30] And she said that that he's brain dead or something to that effect.

[00:25:37] And all I could do is just hang up the phone.

[00:25:39] And the first person I called was Kelly.

[00:25:42] And she just said hello.

[00:25:45] And I just screamed as loud as I could and cried.

[00:25:50] By the way, who's Kelly?

[00:25:51] Kelly's my best friend, my BFF.

[00:25:55] My bitch.

[00:25:56] My ride or die.

[00:26:04] Like, that's all I could do.

[00:26:05] That's all I had the energy to do.

[00:26:07] Because it was at this point, everything is still going like haywire.

[00:26:14] And I'm still trying to maintain some sort of normalcy with the show.

[00:26:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:26:22] Now, two days later, that's when I could finally go visit J.R.

[00:26:28] Had to get a clearance because he was still technically in custody.

[00:26:36] When I go into the hospital, I see him.

[00:26:41] He's literally in front of the nurse's station.

[00:26:44] He's the sickest patient in the hospital.

[00:26:48] That's what the doctor said.

[00:26:49] He's the sickest patient that we have in the hospital.

[00:26:52] He had tubes everywhere.

[00:26:57] But he was handcuffed to the bed.

[00:26:59] And he had two fucking guards in front.

[00:27:03] I was like, this man is not going anywhere.

[00:27:06] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:06] Like, he's not.

[00:27:07] He's not going anywhere.

[00:27:10] Come to find out, nobody told me.

[00:27:12] Come to find out, he had a cardiac arrest.

[00:27:16] He was dead supposedly for 15 minutes according to the guard.

[00:27:23] They brought him back, but he's not responding.

[00:27:26] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:28] That's when we find out that he has severe brain damage.

[00:27:32] Yeah, because 15 minutes being out, yeah.

[00:27:35] Like, severe lack of oxygen.

[00:27:38] Doesn't take long for brain damage to start setting in.

[00:27:41] I had to run out of the hospital.

[00:27:43] And I promise you, this was the period I cried the hardest and the most since my father died back in 2012.

[00:27:50] But I still had to keep my shit together.

[00:27:52] I mean, there were times I randomly broke down on air.

[00:27:56] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:56] And I had to run out of the studio.

[00:27:59] Mm-hmm.

[00:27:59] And I was like, fuck, I hate that shit.

[00:28:01] But it was a lot.

[00:28:03] It was a lot.

[00:28:04] And I was still trying to keep some sort of a, I don't want to say a front.

[00:28:10] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:10] But I got this, everything's okay.

[00:28:13] Mm-hmm.

[00:28:13] Even though everything is like going crazy.

[00:28:17] Yeah.

[00:28:20] And, you know, I don't want to go recap too much of all the stories and stuff like that.

[00:28:25] But I missed, even though I wasn't on the air, I still, I missed you guys.

[00:28:32] Y'all in my therapy.

[00:28:33] Y'all in my family.

[00:28:38] The fact that when I see y'all in the street, some of y'all in the street and they're like,

[00:28:42] when are you going to come back on air?

[00:28:43] When are you, when's the next episode?

[00:28:45] When's the new episode?

[00:28:46] And it, and I appreciated it.

[00:28:50] It felt like you really miss me.

[00:28:52] You really love me.

[00:28:53] But it also gave me anxiety.

[00:28:58] It did.

[00:28:59] And I know it wasn't intentional.

[00:29:00] I don't want to say it was on purpose, cause I don't think it was.

[00:29:04] But, well, I know it wasn't, but it gave me anxiety because I'm like, shit, I need to be on air.

[00:29:12] I'm losing traction.

[00:29:13] I'm losing this.

[00:29:14] I'm losing that.

[00:29:15] And I'm not looking at, sit your ass down.

[00:29:18] It's going to be okay.

[00:29:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:29:21] Uh, I appreciate all the DMs.

[00:29:23] Like, I miss your show.

[00:29:24] I listened to an old episode.

[00:29:25] It made me laugh.

[00:29:26] It made me get through a rough time.

[00:29:28] I appreciate all of that.

[00:29:31] So, all of this is going on.

[00:29:33] I eventually go on FMLA.

[00:29:36] I have to go, uh, uh, I had to, um, shit, what's it called?

[00:29:46] Uh, well, I was out of work on FMLA.

[00:29:52] It didn't come directly from the job.

[00:29:54] It came from a provider.

[00:29:57] So, that provider does not give direct deposit.

[00:30:02] It gives you a paper check and mails you a paper check.

[00:30:04] So, now, I've gone from being in the 21st century to the Stone Age.

[00:30:10] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:12] I say that all to say, I lived with family at the time.

[00:30:16] One floor was, uh, uh, my mother's cousin and other floor was us.

[00:30:22] The lower floor was us.

[00:30:25] This bitch does not check her fucking mail every day.

[00:30:31] So, I gotta be like Seely from the motherfucking color purple every day.

[00:30:36] Did you get some mail for me?

[00:30:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:30:38] Did you get some mail for me?

[00:30:40] She would not go.

[00:30:42] I was supposed to get my checks every Thursday.

[00:30:45] Sometimes this bitch didn't go to the mailbox till Monday.

[00:30:49] Then, if you ask her, well, can I just get the key?

[00:30:52] I could check.

[00:30:53] I'll bring up the mail for you.

[00:30:54] She is...

[00:30:55] An old situation.

[00:30:57] Yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a different situation.

[00:31:02] So, I think that was one of the worst parts.

[00:31:05] Because one time, I didn't even get a check until the following Monday.

[00:31:09] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:10] And I like, and one time, I was at the bar, and all of these, like, all of these bills,

[00:31:18] because I was responsible, I had my bills on auto pay.

[00:31:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:21] And all these bills bounced back.

[00:31:24] And I was like, like, four or five hundred dollars in the overdraft.

[00:31:32] Yeah.

[00:31:32] Yeah.

[00:31:33] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:31:34] Yeah.

[00:31:35] Yeah.

[00:31:37] So, dealing with that, then dealing with the healing of the relationship between my mother

[00:31:42] and I, I ain't gonna say we perfect.

[00:31:43] I ain't gonna say we're like, you know, peanut butter and jelly, but it's much better than

[00:31:49] it was before she fell and, uh, uh, injured herself.

[00:31:54] Cause we were not talking at all for about, I want to say eight months.

[00:31:58] We were not talking at all.

[00:32:02] Um, so, I go back to work and I get an offer to work in another field.

[00:32:12] The field is education.

[00:32:15] Who would have thought?

[00:32:16] Me?

[00:32:17] Education.

[00:32:17] Yeah.

[00:32:18] Kim Allen actually predicted that.

[00:32:19] Oh, really?

[00:32:20] She did.

[00:32:21] And I was like, no, fuck.

[00:32:22] I was like, me?

[00:32:24] Me?

[00:32:25] What the fuck am I gonna be doing?

[00:32:28] But, but she predicted that.

[00:32:30] Mm.

[00:32:31] She saw me in the school.

[00:32:32] I didn't see it, but she saw it and she was right.

[00:32:35] I tell her that all the time.

[00:32:39] And I took it because it was closer to home.

[00:32:42] And also, um, I didn't want God forbid something else to happen.

[00:32:47] And I got to travel all the way from the Bronx.

[00:32:52] And get to by the time I get to Brooklyn, like it's yeah.

[00:32:58] Um, then I went through the period of fuck.

[00:33:04] I can't do this show.

[00:33:07] Cause my mouth and I, all I need is one of the bitter ass parents to go and look my name up.

[00:33:17] And then all of a sudden, your shows pop up.

[00:33:21] Mm-hmm.

[00:33:21] And then the next thing you know, they forward it to my, uh, supervisors.

[00:33:26] Yeah.

[00:33:26] Getting a whole different kind of education.

[00:33:29] You know?

[00:33:30] I mean, John Cash is for the kids.

[00:33:33] Yeah, that's true.

[00:33:34] Yeah.

[00:33:34] But I had to, I had to do that soul searching.

[00:33:38] Like, do I want to end the show or not?

[00:33:41] I had to do it.

[00:33:43] And I was like, you know, I had a good run and everything.

[00:33:47] I had over a hundred episodes.

[00:33:49] A lot of people didn't get past three.

[00:33:51] That's a fact.

[00:33:52] Trust me.

[00:33:53] As somebody that records a lot of new podcasts, you'd be amazed how many don't even get it

[00:33:58] to three or five.

[00:33:59] Yeah.

[00:34:00] So, um, I was like, eh, maybe I should end it.

[00:34:06] You know what?

[00:34:08] I'm, I'm, I don't know.

[00:34:09] I'm not sure.

[00:34:10] And I battled.

[00:34:11] I went back and forth.

[00:34:15] But always, it never, it never failed.

[00:34:18] The, the, the sensation, it kept coming back and it kept coming back stronger.

[00:34:23] Like, no, you gotta do this.

[00:34:26] You gotta do this.

[00:34:26] You gotta do this.

[00:34:31] As soon as I was about to, I was literally gonna book, I swear to you, the evening.

[00:34:36] I was gonna book the session the evening of the, uh, what happened.

[00:34:41] Hmm.

[00:34:43] I get a call from my mother.

[00:34:48] She's crying hysterically.

[00:34:49] I'm like, what the fuck could possibly happen?

[00:34:52] I'm at work.

[00:34:56] Gloria called the house is on fire.

[00:35:00] I'm like, what?

[00:35:01] What you mean the house?

[00:35:02] What house is on fire?

[00:35:04] I'm like, like, what?

[00:35:06] Like, she said that the house, the house.

[00:35:10] Um, I said, okay, I'm, I'm leaving right now.

[00:35:16] Left work.

[00:35:17] And I was so frantic because my life was in that house in terms of my external hard drive.

[00:35:27] Yeah.

[00:35:28] And my laptop with all of like the shows from DTF and the, the previous recording before,

[00:35:39] like from, uh, 2019 when we first started recording here and I'm like, oh my God.

[00:35:47] And I'm in the Uber.

[00:35:49] And as soon as we get, maybe the Uber picked me up.

[00:35:56] I think like two blocks away from where the Uber picked me up.

[00:35:59] I felt such a calm.

[00:36:01] Mm-hmm.

[00:36:02] Come over me.

[00:36:03] I said, everything gonna be okay.

[00:36:05] I walked in there.

[00:36:07] Thank God.

[00:36:10] My room was the only room that really was not affected by the fire.

[00:36:14] Outside of the window being knocked out the frame.

[00:36:17] Thank you, FDNY.

[00:36:19] But, like the fuck?

[00:36:22] They come through like gangbusters when it comes to that shit.

[00:36:24] And stepped all on my fucking dirty clothes.

[00:36:26] I'm like, y'all should clean this shit.

[00:36:28] Fucking heavy ass work boots.

[00:36:30] Got black marks and shit on my shit.

[00:36:33] I was literally, I literally was gonna come home, take my clothes to the laundry.

[00:36:38] And then, book the session to come back.

[00:36:43] Maybe either that weekend or the weekend after.

[00:36:46] Yeah.

[00:36:46] Actually, I remember for, just to give us some additional context for people listening and watching too,

[00:36:51] is like, I remember you called me.

[00:36:55] And the thing is like, when you call me, there's usually two things you want to be.

[00:37:00] You're usually in two states of mind.

[00:37:03] Extreme joy.

[00:37:04] Or extreme anger and sadness.

[00:37:08] And I learned something about you through, I mean, don't get me wrong.

[00:37:12] When you told me this story, obviously I was heartbroken for you.

[00:37:15] And knowing all the other things that you just told the audience.

[00:37:18] Like, I knew you'd been going through a real rough patch.

[00:37:21] And one of the things that I think that especially I felt bad for you is because like, I'll be honest, I don't really feel bad for people.

[00:37:28] Because nine times out of 10, usually it's something of their own doing.

[00:37:32] And you were just trying to take care of your family.

[00:37:35] Like, you know, like you were just trying to take care of people around you.

[00:37:37] And mind you, you were also trying to take care of people around you who weren't necessarily, you know, without going into all the details,

[00:37:44] treating you exactly the way that I feel that you probably deserve to be treated.

[00:37:48] And you were still taking care of them.

[00:37:51] So just to give people extra context out there.

[00:37:53] But I remember I was getting ready.

[00:37:56] I was getting ready.

[00:37:57] It was with wifey actually.

[00:37:58] It was on an express bus downtown.

[00:37:59] We were getting ready to have a date, which is like our first date in I don't know how many.

[00:38:04] You have those?

[00:38:04] I know. Exactly.

[00:38:06] Exactly.

[00:38:07] We were getting ready to have a date.

[00:38:08] I don't know why she still is with me.

[00:38:11] But um.

[00:38:12] I don't know why.

[00:38:14] I ain't gonna.

[00:38:15] We'll go, we'll go.

[00:38:18] We've established that.

[00:38:20] We've established that.

[00:38:21] But um, but you called me on that bus ride.

[00:38:25] And I just remember the tone of your voice.

[00:38:28] And I just remember feeling really like, damn, like this guy really can't catch a break.

[00:38:37] But there's one other feeling to lighten this up a little bit that came over me.

[00:38:42] And I was like, wow, this dude, you know, had a fire happen at his residence.

[00:38:49] You know, obviously the work he's happy that nobody got hurt.

[00:38:53] Everybody was fine.

[00:38:56] But the only thing, but the thing he really, really couldn't be talked about the most was his damn laptop and hard drive.

[00:39:05] And how he was so distraught about the idea of losing his podcast episodes.

[00:39:13] And for those of you that are tuning in, that is what he talked about the most.

[00:39:18] And in that moment, I knew that, wow, John's kind of sick, but also, but also, John really loves this shit.

[00:39:29] And needs to do this.

[00:39:31] Yes.

[00:39:31] And regardless of how, I didn't know how or when you were going to come back, but I knew at that point in time, oh, John's coming back.

[00:39:39] Yes.

[00:39:39] He doesn't know it yet, but John's coming back.

[00:39:41] Because anybody that has, goes through something that he just went through, and he's going to talk to me that long about his podcast files.

[00:39:50] I was going to see if you had backup.

[00:39:52] Yeah.

[00:39:54] I was just thinking about all people that don't create podcasts or content you don't understand.

[00:40:02] When you dedicate a significant portion of your life, when you have made so many sacrifices.

[00:40:09] There was a time when I used to do Saturday morning shows from 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. live.

[00:40:16] Whether it was six people listening or 600 people listening, I was still there.

[00:40:22] That meant I sacrificed my Friday night because I couldn't go out.

[00:40:27] And I sacrificed a lot of my personal time to run errands on Saturdays.

[00:40:33] So when I just thought about all of that, all the hard work, all the, like just everything, even the outlines, even the graphic designs and stuff like that, that I have put on the hard drive.

[00:40:45] And it's running a business.

[00:40:47] Yeah.

[00:40:47] It's like, oh my God.

[00:40:49] But once I saw my room was completely, it was just smoke.

[00:40:55] I was like, okay, this is fine.

[00:40:59] And I had to get a kick out of it.

[00:41:03] I know you'll find this funny and I know some of the audience will find this funny.

[00:41:08] At the end of the day, the day got to end, like Glovilla said.

[00:41:13] But the day that the fire happened and the Salvation Army put me in this hotel, it was a ho hotel.

[00:41:21] Don't ask me how.

[00:41:22] I know it was a ho hotel, but a ho knows what a ho hotel is.

[00:41:29] And, well, I can tell you how.

[00:41:32] I went to the store, grabbed something to eat.

[00:41:35] I normally grab twin snakes or gummy bears whenever I'm stressed.

[00:41:41] So I went to the store, probably got one of those.

[00:41:43] And I came back to the hotel, I'm about to say the ho hotel.

[00:41:47] I came back to the hotel and there was a gentleman, at least I think it was a gentleman,

[00:41:52] and a lady, or at least I thought it was a lady.

[00:41:55] It was two people.

[00:41:56] Okay?

[00:41:57] I would just say that.

[00:41:59] It was two people.

[00:42:01] And they were like, we need a room for two hours.

[00:42:04] And I was like, what the fuck?

[00:42:05] I was like, this is a ho hotel.

[00:42:08] You ain't have to, mm-hmm.

[00:42:10] But yes.

[00:42:13] But like I said, I had to get on air and I could not do, just jump in.

[00:42:22] And not tell you why it wasn't anything for like two years.

[00:42:28] And I also had to apologize to you guys because I took a listen to some of these podcasts.

[00:42:33] They suck.

[00:42:36] I don't know how y'all do this.

[00:42:37] I mean, quite frankly, I only really listen to mine.

[00:42:41] Like, I don't know how you do this shit.

[00:42:43] I don't.

[00:42:44] It's like, wow, that's what podcast is all about now?

[00:42:47] People got to start somewhere, John.

[00:42:49] People got to start somewhere.

[00:42:51] I'm concerned.

[00:42:53] Anyway, get a session, a coaching session by Josh here at the Brooklyn Podcast Studio.

[00:43:02] I'll help y'all.

[00:43:03] I'll take care of you.

[00:43:05] Yeah.

[00:43:05] You know, cheap blood.

[00:43:07] But yeah, I thank you and I hope to God I never have another hiatus like that ever again

[00:43:14] until I'm retired or dead, whatever happened first.

[00:43:21] Like, and you know, I promise you, I promise you, as long as there's life and ability in my body, I will do my best to make sure that it will never be that length of a hiatus again.

[00:43:36] I'm just going to put it like that.

[00:43:39] Yeah.

[00:43:40] Well, we're glad to have you back.

[00:43:42] And I'm glad to be back.

[00:43:43] God damn it.

[00:43:45] So, I know some of you want to hear my opinions about some of the shit that's gone down since we last recorded in 2022 to the present day, October 2024.

[00:43:58] Oh, man.

[00:43:59] That was quite some time.

[00:44:03] Quite a few things happened.

[00:44:04] When you say it out loud, the gravity weighs on you.

[00:44:09] That's half of a presidential term.

[00:44:13] So, I promise you, the next episode, we're going to go over some of the major, some of the major, I can't do all of them.

[00:44:20] I'm not going to do all of them.

[00:44:21] We're going to do some of them.

[00:44:24] And that's it.

[00:44:26] That's it.

[00:44:26] Any final thoughts?

[00:44:29] We'll see you in the next episode.

[00:44:31] Yeah, we'll see you in the next episode.

[00:44:33] And as I always like to say, wait a minute, let me pull this up because I haven't said in a while.

[00:44:37] So, almost forgot it.

[00:44:42] Stay away from negative people because more than likely they have negative bank accounts.

[00:44:46] And we out.

[00:44:50] Yo, listen in to John Cash.