In the latest episode of "The John Cash Show Podcast", John Cash & The White Wesley Pipes discuss who they would like to discuss their lives and much more!!
#Comedy #Funny #Stories #Storytime
[00:00:00] It's grocery eating time on the John Cash Show Podcast, bitches!
[00:00:47] Welcome, welcome, welcome to an all new edition of the John Cash Show Podcast.
[00:00:52] Before I get started, the views and opinions expressed by myself do not reflect those of
[00:00:59] the John Cash Show Podcast sponsors and affiliates.
[00:01:03] Jesus Christ, stars in the building.
[00:01:05] Listen to the viewers' description, it's highly advised.
[00:01:09] Love you, sis.
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[00:01:33] Let me say it again.
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[00:01:41] Okay.
[00:01:42] Got that out the way.
[00:01:47] Star would be like, come on now!
[00:01:53] So let's kick it off with the engineer everybody raves about, the white Wesley Power.
[00:02:07] It's channel 65 this week.
[00:02:10] How are you?
[00:02:12] It's feeling better now.
[00:02:14] Oh yeah.
[00:02:15] Yeah, letting it all hang out now.
[00:02:17] 65 style.
[00:02:19] What?
[00:02:21] I heard a 69 guy.
[00:02:23] Like, freaky end, 69 guy.
[00:02:29] Hey, hey, hey, hey, Riffle, you're alive.
[00:02:31] I'm paving my own path.
[00:02:35] Speaking of that, cause that just drive my memory.
[00:02:37] That bitch ass Drake done sued somebody over for diss track.
[00:02:41] Yup.
[00:02:43] I always called that motherfucker Waffle Chris and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
[00:02:49] I always called that motherfucker that.
[00:02:51] Mm-hmm.
[00:02:54] Now we suing people?
[00:02:57] We went from hit him up to lawyer up?
[00:03:00] Seriously?
[00:03:01] It's true.
[00:03:05] Pussified.
[00:03:06] Anyway, not in a good way.
[00:03:08] He hurt my business.
[00:03:09] He hurt my feelings.
[00:03:11] Call me a pedophile.
[00:03:13] You call him a woman beater.
[00:03:16] There was no truth to that.
[00:03:21] Drake Drake.
[00:03:22] See, this is why.
[00:03:23] This is reason a million why I'm not a rapper.
[00:03:27] Cause see, that shit will make me run up in your house.
[00:03:30] Mm-hmm.
[00:03:33] Oh, too soon?
[00:03:34] Too soon?
[00:03:36] Nah.
[00:03:36] Anyway.
[00:03:39] I digress.
[00:03:43] How was your week?
[00:03:45] It's good.
[00:03:46] Good?
[00:03:46] Good, good.
[00:03:49] You did mention that, but then I had my ADHD moment.
[00:03:53] Whatever.
[00:03:54] It's the holidays.
[00:03:55] Fuck it.
[00:03:56] I'm not sure you're doing better than Drake in some ways.
[00:04:01] Some ways.
[00:04:02] That is true.
[00:04:03] What ways wouldn't you be?
[00:04:04] Financially.
[00:04:05] Oh, wow.
[00:04:06] He's still good.
[00:04:07] Yeah.
[00:04:07] Maybe not soon.
[00:04:09] Yeah, that's true.
[00:04:10] Yeah.
[00:04:11] We'll see.
[00:04:12] We'll see how the court goes.
[00:04:16] He did all of that so he doesn't perform that song at the Super Bowl.
[00:04:20] Mm-hmm.
[00:04:23] That's why.
[00:04:24] We got to get the A minor drop at the Super Bowl.
[00:04:29] Wouldn't be right.
[00:04:31] Yeah, no.
[00:04:34] Uh, anyway.
[00:04:37] Yeah.
[00:04:37] My week was pretty good.
[00:04:40] You know, a few weeks ago, I had hurt my knee on the job.
[00:04:45] You wanna know how I hurt my knee?
[00:04:47] How did you hurt your knee?
[00:04:48] Well, breaking up a fight.
[00:04:50] Oh.
[00:04:51] Yeah.
[00:04:52] Yeah.
[00:04:53] And I think, I think the most embarrassing part was I fell and bust my ass in front of a bunch of kids.
[00:05:00] That, that, that, that, that shit.
[00:05:04] They kinda walk around with a busted knee after that?
[00:05:08] I think, uh, my knee was kicking my ass, but, uh, my ego was hurt too.
[00:05:13] I was like, oh shit.
[00:05:16] They're like, you okay?
[00:05:18] I was like, I'm fine.
[00:05:19] Get away from me.
[00:05:21] I'm like, I'm able to look back now and laugh.
[00:05:27] But that shit was not funny at all when that happened.
[00:05:31] I literally, okay.
[00:05:33] So, picture it.
[00:05:35] I'm in my office.
[00:05:36] I already am.
[00:05:37] I'm in my office, and there's two young ladies writing out a statement of what happened in the lunchroom.
[00:05:44] I wasn't there.
[00:05:45] They were writing a statement.
[00:05:46] The girl, I guess they had the issues with, ran into the, the, the office and said, let's run it, bitch.
[00:05:57] I was like, I was like, but when she dropped either her bag or her notebook, it gave me enough time to react and jump up and get to her before she, like, landed a punch or something.
[00:06:18] So, I turned her around towards the door and I'm walking, walking her to the door.
[00:06:28] She pulls away from me.
[00:06:30] When she pulls away from me, that's when I slip.
[00:06:36] And I hit my knee.
[00:06:37] And I, I don't know.
[00:06:39] I probably said, shit.
[00:06:52] And I was scrambling to get up.
[00:06:59] She's about to, she's about to go back.
[00:07:03] And I get her before she goes back.
[00:07:06] And I walk on the other side of the hallway and she's just bucking and swinging.
[00:07:10] And I'm like, oh, wait a minute.
[00:07:12] She gets me.
[00:07:13] I forget I'm an adult.
[00:07:16] And, oh my God, my knee kept buckling and shit.
[00:07:25] Everybody was like, you okay?
[00:07:26] Of course I'm going to say yeah.
[00:07:28] Cause I done slipped and fell.
[00:07:32] Kids came up to me at that, like, about 20 minutes later.
[00:07:36] Oh, you, you good?
[00:07:39] I heard she bit you and they bit me.
[00:07:41] What?
[00:07:48] Oh God.
[00:07:50] Yeah.
[00:07:50] So I was laid up for it.
[00:07:53] And I had a good way for Thanksgiving.
[00:07:55] I was laid up.
[00:07:57] I couldn't go up the stairs.
[00:08:00] The elevator and our builder was out for a while.
[00:08:05] Yeah, it was, it was, I'm hopping around.
[00:08:08] I'm like, flipping around.
[00:08:12] I'm in the street.
[00:08:14] I'm thugging it out though.
[00:08:16] I went to the corner store.
[00:08:17] I'm thugging it out.
[00:08:18] My fucking knee is kicking my ass.
[00:08:20] And I was like, oh shit.
[00:08:23] I said, if somebody pop shit down, but just had to take it.
[00:08:28] I'm just, I just gotta be a bottom and take it.
[00:08:41] But yeah, that, that was, that was, that was so embarrassing.
[00:08:48] Oh man.
[00:08:49] When I got back to the office though, all the kids in the office were looking at me.
[00:08:54] And I said, I know you saw me just bust my behind, right?
[00:08:59] And they said, yeah.
[00:09:00] I said, give me five minutes.
[00:09:01] I need five minutes.
[00:09:02] Just give me five minutes.
[00:09:05] Five minutes.
[00:09:06] I don't want to hear nothing.
[00:09:07] I don't want to, no.
[00:09:08] Don't ask me no questions.
[00:09:09] It's going to be no.
[00:09:10] Give me five minutes.
[00:09:11] I'm just like.
[00:09:12] Was it a fall forward or fall back?
[00:09:15] It fell on my side.
[00:09:16] Like on this, like, I felt, I like braced myself to make sure I didn't fall flat on my fucking face.
[00:09:25] Cause I'd quit that day.
[00:09:27] I thought, fuck this.
[00:09:29] Like, like, it's so embarrassing.
[00:09:36] Mr. Dorney would never.
[00:09:38] It'd be a personal day.
[00:09:39] I mean, fuck Mr. Dorney, but I mean, still like Mr. Dorney, all he would do is turn red.
[00:09:46] Oh my God.
[00:09:51] Wow.
[00:09:52] Yeah.
[00:09:53] So life of high school education in the United States.
[00:09:58] Yeah.
[00:09:59] I wasn't sturdy that day.
[00:10:00] As the kids say, I was very, I was very, very pissed off.
[00:10:16] So you can catch me on IG at the John Cash show.
[00:10:22] So tick tock for now, John Cash show podcast, Facebook, John Cash X at underscore John Cash.
[00:10:29] For everybody listening and watching, feel free to chat about any other topics, ask for advice, anything else at the John Cash show at gmail.com.
[00:10:41] So this week's topic is if someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator?
[00:10:53] I know in that moment, it had, it probably would have been, I don't even know.
[00:11:03] Probably Jocelyn like, Oh, what did you think?
[00:11:11] I slipped and fell and bust my ass.
[00:11:15] So embarrassing.
[00:11:16] And oh wait, the worst part was that one of the social workers came in and was like, there's scuff marks on the floor.
[00:11:27] Somebody playing basketball in here?
[00:11:30] I was like, slipped and fucking fell.
[00:11:40] But yeah.
[00:11:43] Wesley pipes.
[00:11:44] Who would you say?
[00:11:45] You always hit me with like.
[00:11:48] The profound.
[00:11:49] Yeah.
[00:11:50] Yeah.
[00:11:51] I mean, we're more than groceries here, you know?
[00:11:54] Yeah.
[00:11:55] I'm a very profound individual.
[00:11:58] I'm more than just sex.
[00:12:00] You know?
[00:12:01] I mean, a lot of people don't experience that side.
[00:12:07] Wham bam.
[00:12:07] Thank you, man.
[00:12:09] And then hell.
[00:12:11] I told you, I told you, I don't even sleep over.
[00:12:16] Like I do the job.
[00:12:19] I came, I came, I saw and I conquered and I left.
[00:12:26] I don't spend the night.
[00:12:28] Um, now shower.
[00:12:30] Nobody house.
[00:12:32] I got working water at my house.
[00:12:34] Shower there.
[00:12:36] I'm a, I'm a Nick fan.
[00:12:38] So maybe wall Clyde Frazier.
[00:12:39] Oh, swishing with the dish.
[00:12:42] Yeah.
[00:12:43] I like the rhyming.
[00:12:46] Magnificent.
[00:12:47] What the?
[00:12:49] He just shot the ball.
[00:12:51] What are you talking about?
[00:12:52] I just bought milk.
[00:12:57] He's pretty cool.
[00:12:59] He's going to town with that cow.
[00:13:04] What?
[00:13:06] Okay.
[00:13:07] All right.
[00:13:09] Um,
[00:13:12] Hmm.
[00:13:16] I've tried to think.
[00:13:17] Cause there's like so many people.
[00:13:19] I would say Morgan Freeman from my life.
[00:13:22] You know, he was in my head also.
[00:13:24] Morgan Freeman.
[00:13:25] He just makes my life feel distinguished.
[00:13:28] Morgan Freeman.
[00:13:30] Yeah.
[00:13:31] Or Will Smith at the Oscars.
[00:13:34] Keep my fucking name out your fucking mouth.
[00:13:39] Cause I say that a lot too.
[00:13:45] And I also end with a slap.
[00:13:49] Shut the fuck up.
[00:13:53] Bitch.
[00:13:56] Matter of fact.
[00:13:57] Yeah.
[00:13:58] Will Smith.
[00:14:00] I like it.
[00:14:01] When I'm walking through Times Square area.
[00:14:04] Just put off your teeth.
[00:14:05] Move.
[00:14:08] Move motherfucker.
[00:14:12] Now that's Rihanna.
[00:14:13] Move motherfucker.
[00:14:14] Move.
[00:14:16] Move.
[00:14:17] Get out the way motherfucker.
[00:14:19] Move motherfucker.
[00:14:21] Move motherfucker.
[00:14:22] You in the way.
[00:14:25] But yeah.
[00:14:26] Kick my fucking name out your fucking mouth.
[00:14:31] I said that one time to one of my coworkers.
[00:14:35] What?
[00:14:36] Story time.
[00:14:37] Story time with John Cash, ladies and gentlemen.
[00:14:39] Yes.
[00:14:40] So I used to work for, they done changed the designation so many damn times.
[00:14:47] So if I say the wrong thing, I apologize in advance.
[00:14:50] You know, I always offend people.
[00:14:52] Whatever.
[00:14:53] But I worked with the intellectually disabled.
[00:14:57] I guess that's what they called it when I was working there.
[00:15:00] So shit.
[00:15:01] I haven't worked in like 12 years.
[00:15:03] So.
[00:15:05] There was this young lady who I was in the van.
[00:15:10] I was assistant supervisor at the time.
[00:15:12] I was in the van in the community and I was new to the site.
[00:15:19] So this just goes to show you how much of a connection I did not have with this staff.
[00:15:27] This staff.
[00:15:29] So she was on the phone with another staff that was in the van.
[00:15:36] And, um, she said something to the effect like, oh, you need to watch out for John.
[00:15:44] And I was like, bitch, like what?
[00:15:47] I didn't do shit to you.
[00:15:48] But they never saw like, I was like, what'd she say?
[00:15:51] I was like, what'd she say?
[00:15:53] I was like, I said, what'd she say?
[00:15:54] And they didn't want to tell me.
[00:15:56] So I said, who's she on the van with?
[00:15:58] Because I didn't have her number, but she was on the van with somebody who I did have, um, his number.
[00:16:06] So I called him and I said, put that bitch on the phone.
[00:16:13] They never saw me like that before.
[00:16:15] So they like, whoa, like I, and he put it on the phone.
[00:16:19] I said, you got something to fucking say to me?
[00:16:22] So this, she was like, what, what, what?
[00:16:25] I said, keep my mother fucking name out your mother fucking mouth.
[00:16:30] Bitch.
[00:16:43] I had no more problems with her after that.
[00:16:47] I don't know what the fuck you thought this was.
[00:16:50] Cause I just got there.
[00:16:52] I didn't bother nobody.
[00:16:53] I just did my job.
[00:16:55] And then you going to put that shit like, oh, you need to watch for, watch for what?
[00:17:00] Man, don't make me fuck you up.
[00:17:02] Like you fucking fuck.
[00:17:05] Fuck.
[00:17:06] Fuck you mean?
[00:17:07] Like, then there was another staff member.
[00:17:11] He thought he was like the baddest motherfucker.
[00:17:15] Cause he was six foot four, six foot five.
[00:17:20] So he was, uh, he said something.
[00:17:25] I can't even remember.
[00:17:25] He was talking about me and it got back to me.
[00:17:29] And I marched to the room where he was at with the group.
[00:17:34] And I said, everybody get the fuck out.
[00:17:38] And they looking at me, but they saw that I meant business.
[00:17:42] So he got up.
[00:17:43] I said, no, you sit the fuck down.
[00:17:47] Cause now it's like, oh, you, oh, you want, you want to knock on,
[00:17:51] you want to knock on the devil's door?
[00:17:52] Keep knocking.
[00:17:53] I'm going to answer.
[00:17:55] So I said, you got something to say to me?
[00:18:01] He was like, what?
[00:18:03] What?
[00:18:03] And it never fails.
[00:18:04] Whenever somebody got something to say and you be like, you got something to say to me.
[00:18:08] They'd be like, why?
[00:18:08] Why?
[00:18:09] Oh, you know, I need, yeah.
[00:18:12] Yeah.
[00:18:13] Cause I'll smack the piss out of you.
[00:18:15] But, um, say what one more time.
[00:18:18] And I have somebody that's known me for quite a few years.
[00:18:21] They know I'm about that shit.
[00:18:26] That's why I ain't with that industry shit.
[00:18:31] Smack the shit out of you on the red carpet.
[00:18:34] Like I wouldn't give a fuck.
[00:18:37] I'd bitch smack you.
[00:18:38] If I tell you I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it.
[00:18:41] They may be, might be.
[00:18:44] I'm working on myself.
[00:18:45] Yeah.
[00:18:45] You know, God ain't through with me yet.
[00:18:48] I ain't finished.
[00:18:49] Fuck around and find out.
[00:18:50] Right?
[00:18:50] I'm the epitome of F-A-F-O.
[00:18:53] Fuck around and find out, bitch.
[00:18:55] Like, yeah.
[00:18:56] Anyway, go back to the story.
[00:19:01] I pretty much laid it out to him.
[00:19:03] I said, I could clock out.
[00:19:06] I can meet you at the garage and clock out.
[00:19:08] I said, I'm five, nine, five, ten.
[00:19:10] You're, you know, you're six foot four, six foot five.
[00:19:13] You're supposed to beat my ass.
[00:19:15] Cause you're six foot four, six foot five.
[00:19:17] I'm five, nine, five, ten.
[00:19:19] It won't look bad if you whip my ass.
[00:19:22] But when I beat your ass, I'll be the baddest motherfucker in here.
[00:19:28] I ain't have near another problem after that.
[00:19:30] Like, I don't want to get to that level, but I will get to that level if need be.
[00:19:37] I could lay hands on you either way to prey on you or to punch you.
[00:19:45] Like the choice is yours.
[00:19:51] Anyway, that's end of story time with John Cash.
[00:19:59] For those of you listening, I just did the more you know kind of rainbow.
[00:20:06] Fuck out of here.
[00:20:09] Fuck is you talking about?
[00:20:11] Like I can go real.
[00:20:13] I could be.
[00:20:14] Yes.
[00:20:15] Prim and proper.
[00:20:16] And I could be real hood.
[00:20:17] I keep telling y'all.
[00:20:18] I like that hood shit.
[00:20:21] Cause I'm on that hood timing.
[00:20:23] It's in my algorithm.
[00:20:26] I'm more, I'm more comfortable in a trap house than a boardroom.
[00:20:33] That should let you know what type of time.
[00:20:35] And I'm on.
[00:20:41] Anyway, let's jump to Facebook to read the responses.
[00:20:48] You got King Reg.
[00:20:50] He says Mufasa.
[00:20:54] No, but for real, James Earl Jones.
[00:20:56] That's a good pick.
[00:20:57] Okay.
[00:20:58] That's a good pick.
[00:20:59] Yeah.
[00:21:02] There's a certain cache.
[00:21:05] You know, I didn't want that cache.
[00:21:08] Just, you know, I mean, you got that cache with Will Smith.
[00:21:11] I could have just said Stevie J, but no.
[00:21:16] I said Will Smith and I said, who else?
[00:21:18] I said Morgan Freeman.
[00:21:20] Morgan Freeman.
[00:21:20] Yeah.
[00:21:22] There's a certain cache.
[00:21:24] Awesome.
[00:21:24] Academy Award.
[00:21:26] You know, you, at least if I give you an ass whooping, it would be narrated by an Academy
[00:21:31] Award nominee.
[00:21:32] You know?
[00:21:33] You would slow my life down though.
[00:21:36] No.
[00:21:36] My rhythm would be a little slower.
[00:21:39] Morgan Freeman?
[00:21:41] Yeah.
[00:21:41] No, not Morgan Freeman.
[00:21:42] Oh, James Earl Jones?
[00:21:43] James Earl Jones.
[00:21:44] I think it would just be a little bit smoother.
[00:21:50] I could see that.
[00:21:52] I could see that.
[00:21:57] I could see that.
[00:22:16] You know, they'd be talking about, oh, your patchy beard.
[00:22:18] I'm like, your patchy scalp.
[00:22:21] They talking about, oh, you, you getting bald.
[00:22:25] That's it.
[00:22:26] I still got more hair than your mama.
[00:22:29] Call her on FaceTime.
[00:22:32] Let's compare hairlines.
[00:22:35] Like, what the fuck you mean?
[00:22:40] You ain't gonna be around here to insult me.
[00:22:43] And at the end of the day, oh, I love you.
[00:22:45] Yeah, I bet you do.
[00:22:46] I bet you do.
[00:22:49] Hmm.
[00:22:51] School of hard knocks.
[00:22:52] I teach life.
[00:22:54] Fuck around in five hours.
[00:22:59] I like them.
[00:23:00] That's why I hold back.
[00:23:03] I ain't like your ass.
[00:23:06] Fuck you, your bald-headed mama.
[00:23:09] Your deadbeat daddy.
[00:23:11] Your whore of a sister.
[00:23:13] Your crackhead brother.
[00:23:16] Your cocksucking aunt.
[00:23:23] There strays everywhere.
[00:23:25] Everybody get it.
[00:23:29] Your cross-eyed children in the future.
[00:23:38] They be like, wait, what?
[00:23:44] They be like, oh, sorry.
[00:23:46] I thought we were shooting the dozens.
[00:23:52] Hey, you was roasting me.
[00:23:55] I was returning fire.
[00:23:56] What's the problem?
[00:23:57] Tiger got out of the cage.
[00:24:01] Look around, everybody.
[00:24:02] You're on mute.
[00:24:09] Oh, God.
[00:24:10] That's the best part about working with a high school.
[00:24:14] You know, they don't run home to Bobby and be like, oh, it's not so safe.
[00:24:18] You work with freshmen to senior?
[00:24:21] Mm-hmm.
[00:24:23] They cool.
[00:24:25] They cool.
[00:24:28] Charlie says, Anyala Van Zandt.
[00:24:30] I'm sorry.
[00:24:30] I can't have nobody yelling at me.
[00:24:33] Speaking to the hole!
[00:24:35] Anyala Van Zandt.
[00:24:37] Or T-Boz from TLC.
[00:24:41] Dara says, Kiki Palmer.
[00:24:43] I can see that for her.
[00:24:45] I can see that for her.
[00:24:46] Or Auntie Badu.
[00:24:52] Going to Facebook.
[00:24:54] Not Facebook.
[00:24:55] Instagram.
[00:24:57] Jesus Christ.
[00:24:59] Let me sort through.
[00:25:00] Let me just...
[00:25:05] Star says, Whoopi Goldberg.
[00:25:08] Whoopi.
[00:25:09] That's a good pick.
[00:25:11] I remember when she coached the Knicks as Eddie.
[00:25:14] That movie...
[00:25:16] Jesus.
[00:25:18] No.
[00:25:22] So, you know, one of these questions I'm gonna...
[00:25:25] One of these days I'm gonna ask this question.
[00:25:27] You want an ape from the back or you're gonna sit on my face?
[00:25:32] God!
[00:25:38] That's gonna be a topic.
[00:25:41] I bet you that one.
[00:25:43] Hey!
[00:25:45] Oh, praise is what I do.
[00:25:49] Hey!
[00:25:50] But yeah.
[00:25:52] Final thoughts?
[00:25:56] That should be up your alley, Wesley Pius.
[00:25:58] You look very fortified right now.
[00:26:00] Ooh, 69 God.
[00:26:05] Hey, hey, hey, hey, run for your life.
[00:26:11] I think that's wrong.
[00:26:12] Low key, that's like my favorite part of the song.
[00:26:14] Yeah, it's fun.
[00:26:20] So yeah, so 69 God is your final thought?
[00:26:23] Yeah, why not?
[00:26:28] The show has gone off the rails.
[00:26:31] It must be contained.
[00:26:32] It must be stopped.
[00:26:34] It won't be.
[00:26:38] My final thought is, as always, stay away from negative people because more than likely they have negative bank accounts.
[00:26:44] We will see and speak to you, not next week, but in the new year, taking a couple weeks off.
[00:26:52] You know, I need a break.
[00:26:55] I need to give myself grace.
[00:26:56] I was discussing that at the top of the season, giving myself grace.
[00:27:02] I'm giving myself a couple weeks for myself.
[00:27:06] And we will be back January the 6th.
[00:27:10] Yeah, we'll be back January the 6th with Kim Allen, the psychic, resident psychic of the John Cash Show podcast.
[00:27:17] So make sure you send in your questions, your birth dates and stuff like that.
[00:27:21] And you could, you know, get your questions asked by resident psychic.
[00:27:26] She's pretty damn good.
[00:27:28] She did protect me going into education that I did not see at that beginning of that year.
[00:27:35] So, yeah.
[00:27:36] So, yeah.
[00:27:38] See us speak to you next time on the John Cash Show podcast.
[00:27:43] This is the adapter for the rose.
[00:27:52] Yo, listening to John Cash.